| Feb. 13th, 2003 @ 09:33 pm 24 hours and counting |
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Until it's doomsday.
Well not doomsday, just a fucking pain in my ass day.
Last night I realized that I wasn't being fair to my beloved, shutting him out and not telling him why I hate this holiday.
I was planning on explaining it to him, something I haven't bothered to do in the past but felt that I sort of owed it to him since this was a day about romance and all he really wanted to do was be romantic -- and of course, the more romantic he felt, the more amorous he'd be, and shutting him out was sort of the equivalent of cutting off my nose to spite my face.
Or cutting off my cock.
But I can't tell him because he's nowhere to be found. Apparently he's figured out that he can cut me off from the blood bond because I can't find him that way. I knew it was only a matter of time til he knew that little fact. I can cut him off too but while he can reconnect us by force, I don't have the power to do that.
I fucking hate it. It doesn't matter that he won't use that power because getting me that way means he's lost -- a lesson his uncle doesn't care to learn. It matters that he could do it if he wanted to.
So now he's gone. I have no fucking idea where. Maybe he's gone for good finally, I always knew that night would come sooner or later, when he finally got smart and left.
But what else should something like me expect? Angelo is lusted after. Not loved.
That's the real reason I loathe Valentine's Day, even when I was alive.
People don't give flowers or chocolate to objects of lust. They don't bother. They just get their rocks off and leave me.
Alone. |
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bwangelo's journal
hungry
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